Days by the Ocean

Days by the Ocean
by Raymond J. Bartholomeuz (1986)

In the steammy, sensual rivercave of my mind
I stumble, I stagger, I stammer
Like some crazy South Korean circus clown
Lost, lonely, lifeless, laconically lazy
Marooned, marooned
I’m on a lagoon
I am an island
I am an isthmus
I come from Bermuda
I don’t believe in christmas
look out oh sinister holy man
look out oh righteous Bolshevik
I care no longer for your petty problems
I make my own decisions now
Today I laugh, I joke, I chitter chatter chitter
But tomorrow, tomorrow I go to Phillip Island

Everytime I hear this poem my first memory is of my brother absolutely cacking himself to the point I thought he would mess his pants. Then it just got funnier when the young kid when on and did a cracking rendition of it himself. Hands down the funniest piece of Australian poetry I’ve every heard. Man I miss Hey Hey It’s Saturday.